Seeking Endymion
by Gota de Mar
Summary: Neo Queen Serenity, in her despair, obsesses over a man,and her intervention in his life disrupted the balance of two dimensions,forcing the scouts to answer for her, but will they be able to do so without losing a part of themselves?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: (OOPS! I forgot to put this before!) Standard disclaimers apply.

Seeking Endymion

Prologue

_Every fairy tale ends with the words: "and they lived happily ever after"._

_Those words surely had an effect on me since I was a little girl and my mother told me stories before bedtime. It seemed like they were engraved in my mind and my soul; becoming, in my subconscious, my ideal vision of what love was to be for me in my life…just like a fairy tale. _

_Back then, when I was a little girl, and I heard all of those stories attentively, I was so innocent and so happy that if someone would've told me just the kind of life I was to live, I wouldn't have believed them, because - to me - my life was supposed to be an endless merry-go-round full of joy and happiness._

_But that innocence just lasted until I learned that I was destined to become a 'hero' and, later, a Queen. _

_Before that, my life seemed fairly simple. I was a normal young girl, full of cotton candy dreams and fantasies. But when I knew about my past, my present and my future, the pressure of being this entity capable of bringing a new world full of promise and peace, just overwhelmed me for a little while. All of a sudden, the simple, sweet, cotton candy dreamer kid had to become 'the one fated to bring peace to the whole world; the one to bring Crystal Tokyo to fruition'._

_Such responsibility brought down upon my young shoulders, felt just too much for me. And - somehow- I managed to come through, even when I felt weak and unprepared for it. I became the leader my scouts needed. Love and friendship were the only things that pushed me to reach my goals. All the love and hope my friends placed upon me - my sailor scouts - were the only things that mattered. And I couldn't fail them, even when I wasn't physically strong or bright; quite the contrary, I was ditzy and a cry baby, who seemed to be too immature and more interested in finding out what was for dinner than to learn about our next mission._

_But even if it looked that way, in reality, I wanted to be more. I wanted to be just as graceful as I was once. I wanted to be the swan of the lake; the magical princess powerful yet delicate as a butterfly as I was once. I wanted to become the great lady my prince once fell in love with. The thing he couldn't live without. But, just like any other dream, once it's reached it comes to its end._

_I did become the wonderful, graceful ruler and leader my friends needed; my future world needed. I did grow into the graceful lady my prince fell in love with. And I did manage to make my greatest dream come true. My fairy tale ending came to be._

_But life, unlike fairy tales, seldom has a lineal path. And the happily ever after soon came to an end._

_And no, don't get me wrong. _

_I didn't lose my kingdom just like I did in the past. Neither did I lose the opportunity to be with my prince till the end of time. It's just that… love just eluded me. I could see it turn into sand and slip through my fingers while I was unable to hold it. I could see it being swept in the winds of new and greater responsibilities, and washed away with the waves of my sadness and despair. I could see myself become more and more alone, even when all of my good friends were still beside me and even when I know I have a daughter that loves me and looks up to me. I feel so alone. And somehow I feel as if I failed._

_I failed because I can't take any more of this loneliness. Failed because I feel I can't hold on for my little one. Just the thought of leaving her the way that I want to, brings tears of sadness and desperation to my eyes. But I can't go on._

_So, I must say goodbye, because I can't bare the idea of living the rest of my life like this; without love and without hope. _

_I say goodbye to those of you who are so deep in my heart. I know this is the least you would've expect me to do. You would've probably wanted me to fight and be strong. Maybe you think that I'm just being a big coward for doing this. But I feel so tired and so alone. I don't feel I have the strength to go on and fight for me, my friends or even my kingdom. And I know this is just too conceited of me, but it feels like nobody could understand me, and I don't want to impose my personal problems into your busy lives. You have done so much for me already that it would be too much of me to ask for you to do even more. I want you all to live your lives and to be happy. I know you will be able to do it. _

_Please, forgive me, my friends, for not being strong enough to live through this; for failing you and our dreams this way. For leaving you and our kingdom behind._

_Please, forgive me, my sweet little child. Don't ever think that I don't love you. But, I hope you never come to experience this kind of heartache. I would prefer for you to never understand me - even to hate me - instead of having you going through this void in your heart and soul that's killing you slowly, just like it's happening to me and my hopes. I know you will find your soul mate one day, and the love and tears you will share with him will make you understand the deep connection that is built between the two of you. You will feel like half of your life it's torn away from you and weaved into his, so - if he ever leaves you - you'll die. It's a bond so strong, that only when you experience this kind of love you will understand me._

_I wish for you a long and happy life, my little child. A life full of all of the things that destiny denied me. And I want you to know that I love you with all my heart, that I will always love you. That's why I ask for your forgiveness, but if you can't find it in your heart, I will understand._

_And last, I say goodbye to you, my dear Mamoru._

_Just the thought of losing you makes me grow weak, but I understand and respect your wishes. I know I must give you the liberty you are asking for. And so, with my final breath I give you my greatest gift: your freedom back._

_I will always love you, Mamoru. Always know that. And I want you to be happy, even if it is not with me anymore._

_Goodbye,_

_Neo Queen Serenity_

_

* * *

_

Those were the words in the note she left behind in her despair. The note was still clutched in her hand when they found her, but she was already slipping away towards the endless sleep she chose as her destiny.

It would've seemed hopeless to try and save her. But they wouldn't give up hope, even when she already did. They needed her now more than ever. The attack of the Black Moon was upon them and they had to find a way to keep her save and to make sure they wouldn't disrupt their own destiny. So, instead of letting her fulfill her wish, they encased her in crystal to make her weak body recuperate. Now they just needed to find the antidote for the poison inside her heart.

But, where are they supposed to find it?

It became quite frustrating. Oh, how cruel life could be! A broken heart is a lethal weapon of fate. And, to think they believe in fairy tale endings just like their Queen did!

Who would've known this terrible thing was what really happened instead of the greatest threat they thought they face so long ago? The reality of this is far greater than their childhood fears.

Now they face an even greater challenge. The past was about to meet this present and they just can't let their past selves know this truth. What are they suppose to do now? How are they supposed to right this wrong?

* * *

Sorry I deleted this story earlier, but I freaked out when I noticed I forgot to put a disclaimer. Anyway, I took advantage of my little lapsus and decided to check out my story some more to correct it as best as I can. It's still not 100 percent perfect, but I'm doing my best. Maybe I'll get someone to proof read it for me; if there is anyone interested.

I hope you like it so far. I know it's confusing, but you can always ask me - feel free to do so, because later on in the story things could get a little more confusing. Now I know that's not really appealing, but if you are interested, please bear with me.

Basically, what we have here is a very distraught Queen who's facing a very difficult time in her marriage and, sadly, she believes her only answer is to end her life. But why is she so desperately hopeless? What brought this on? You will have to wait to find out.I must say that I'm sorry,if you find thatUsagi / Serena it's acting too OCC.

Anyway, thanks for reading and let me know if you like it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

Note: This story should be considered an AU.

Song that inspired this chapter and, especially, this story: Un Hombre Secreto, by Miriam Hernández.

Warning: Later on on this chapter there will be something mentioned that could not be suitable for younger audiences - though I wonder where this youth must've come from if they hadn't heard worse than that through their friends... Anyway, I feel I should warn you, in case you feel uncomfortable. But rest assure that the moment lasts only a wink away, so if you sneeze, you should be free to go.

* * *

Seeking Endymion

Chapter One

_Entre el amor y el desamor, se me ocurrió que entre los dos _

_Faltaba vida, tal vez color,_

_Faltabas tú; faltaba yo..._

_Y me inventé un ideal_

_Alguién en quien poder soñar_

_y desde entonces, te he sido infiel_

_sólo en mi mente, no en mi piel_

- Un Hombre Secreto sung by Miriam Hernández

Nobody would've known, or even imagined, just how bad things were between Usagi and Mamoru. And the reason why it was so difficult to phantom was a very simple one: it was just impossible. Especially since everybody knew just how much they loved each other, when they have proved, repeatedly, just how powerful their love was.

Their love was legendary… timeless. A real fairytale.

In the beginning, they did all they could to disguise their problems; they didn't want to worry their friends, because - _in the beginning _- they thought it wasn't such a big deal.

Pin it to immaturity. They were just too young. Even though they have shared a lifetime of challenges together, being married was so different from being lovers...

But their problems really started soon after Chibi Usa was born… and, still, they thought it was not such a big deal. When Mamoru told her one day, he wanted to move to another room, she pinned it to his consideration towards her. She knew about the great amount of work he had to do. She could understand that he didn't want to disturb her late at night, when he would come back from one of his many meetings with the counselors; or - gods forbid - wake her up so early in the morning, when he would go out to supervise one of the many projects around Crystal Tokyo. When he told her, with a soft smile and mellow eyes that '_he just wanted to make sure that everything went well in their kingdom andthat he would make sure to give her some respite', _she was touched, and accepted his caring words, even though she was not completely happy with his decision.

Things seemed to be moving excessively fast for them, and it was getting more difficult to keep track of themselves. Still, they thought it was something natural and they came to call it their '_adaptation phase'_, because they were **_adapting _**to too many things at once. To being married, rulers of a new kingdom and all the responsibilities that came with it, and - on top of all of it - being parents, the list seemed to stretch long into the horizon. They were overwhelmed. But they didn't want to loose their head thinking things were not all right. Not only were they the rulers of Crystal Tokyo, but they were its center and balance. Therefore, they thought, if they gave it just a little bit of time, soon all this weirdness and tiredness will go away.

However, time did not ease their problems; quite on the contrary, it made them grew. And they just thought that, if they let things go their natural track, everything would get better. Why would they want to worry one another with silly doubts?

What they didn't know was that, by keeping all to themselves, they denied each other the knowledge of their own dissatisfaction and their loneliness, and - at the same time - a chance to bridge these differences and find a solution.

They were tired, although they didn't want to show it. They were so determined to make things work for Crystal Tokyo, that they ignored the warning signs.

Mamoru started to fly more and more on business trips. He attended many galas held in his honor; rulers around the world asked to give speeches regarding Crystal Tokyo and the treaties they were doing with the kings and major rulers of the world, and his schedule was full of scientists who were obsessed with the possibility of populating other planets and were asking for private meetings. He would hardly spend any time around the castle. Sometimes, he wouldn't even call Usagi at night to tell her he loved her and wish her sweet dreams - as he used to do _at the beginning_.

Usagi could understand what he was going through, although she couldn't get used to miss him, his voice and his touch. She could understand the responsibility he had; she had a lot of that herself. She may not be obliged to give speeches or to precede meetings with brilliant people, but she was in charge of making the wives of these people and their families entertained. She could spend her days in a blur of activities to make Crystal Tokyo an attractive place.

All in all, they lived busy lives, and they did all they could to stay together. From little breakfasts held at Usagi's balcony to after-dinner cordials in the music hall, they did it all. Soon, all of their efforts seemed to be in vain. Excuses and more excuses left Usagi all alone in her balcony. The music hall was witness ofthe bitterest sobs ever heard. Until, one day, Usagi had enough…

What is ironic is that, when she finally decided to accept there was something wrong going on, he wasn't even cheating on her…

One day, after hearing and taking to heart one of Mina's - the daughter of Venus - advices, Usagi arranged a last minute flight to Europe, exactly Paris, where Mamoru was going to give a speech. Usagi was more than excited, thinking that this could be like a second honeymoon for them. And in Paris, the most romantic city of the whole world, nonetheless!

She stopped at a small bakery and bought some of Mamoru's favorite sweets. Near the hotel where he was staying, she saw a woman selling flowers and she bought a dozen of red roses. She was beaming, eager and happy. Chibi Usa was safe back home. Makoto and Mina were taking care of the activities around the castle. Everything was covered so she could spend the next week coop up with Mamoru.

But, once she got to the hotel and reached his room, she heard noises… someone crying. Mamoru?

'_I don't know what to do, Aki _(that was Mamoru's personal assistant)_? This is killing me and I think I won't be able to go on like this…"_

'_There. There. Let it all out, Mr. Chiba. You need to take this off your chest. Maybe, if you talk about it, you may find a solution to it…'_

'_I don't want to hurt Usagi, Aki. She has suffered so much… it wouldn't be fair…'_

Usagi stood shock still, frozen to the core. And jealous.

Aki was not a threat to their marriage. Usagi knew the slightly older woman, who was quite attractive and happily married with a husband that adored her. She always treated the two of them as if they were her children, and Usagi has spent so much time around the woman herself that she was completely comfortable with the idea of having Aki go along with Mamoru to his many engagements.

No, what really made Usagi jealous was the fact that he was opening up to Aki, instead of her. That he was voicing her deepest fear and bringing it to the front, making it impossible for her to deny it any longer. And that he was doing it with a complete stranger!

But what was worse was that things were not so good in their paradisiacal and utopian love story. Reality has settled in.

Later on, Usagi couldn't understand why she acted so childish after that incident.

She didn't make a scene right then. She just made her presence known. And when Mamoru saw her, pale and wide eyed, he stood, paralyzed and unable to say a word - not even when he saw her leave in tears and heartbroken.

When he came back to Crystal Tokyo, Usagi was not there. Everybody thought she was with him in Paris. In reality, she was back home, in Tokyo; disguised, walking the streets that witnessed the birth of their romance, visiting the places were they shared their innocent kisses and promises.

In her sadness, she wished so hard to have a person who would love her with that same kind of devotion and sweetness, as they did back then, that maybe - just maybe - because of that desire, was that she first saw '_him'_…

In her long and lonely nights, Usagi fell prey of her own fantasies. And she used to picture Mamoru like the knight in shinning armor, the valiant prince of her fairytales he used to be. A dark, mysterious hero, who would choose only her as the one worthy of his attention and who, after getting to know her, would fall completely and madly in love with her. That image became a recurring companion of her late nights. The mystery of his being becoming so powerful and encouraging every evening that his hands, disguised as her own, started to become more solid, his lips more real and his eyes a deeper blue. One night, on the throes of her own passion, her eyes saw him, a shadow darker than the rest of the shadows around her room. A figure that stood at the foot of her bed, as if waiting for her to wake up…

'_I am your Heero… the one that you are looking for…'_

At the beginning, she thought it was just a dream, a figment of her imagination. But when it happened a second time, she freaked and stopped imagining him for a few weeks. But, just like any drug, she started to miss it. It was the only thing that could make her feel alive, since her husband didn't give her the time of day.

For a month or two, Usagi - who was not talking to Mamoru - kept imagining her secret lover, her 'shadow man'. Until, one night, when she was deep in sleep, she saw… a valley… big armors, like robots… and they seemed to be fighting. In the midst of all that chaos, her heart pulled her to a figure… a young man, who defiantly looked at a big machine. His eyes were devoid of feeling… empty globes of Prussian marble. And her heart stopped when she recognized the kind of threat he was making…

'_No!'_ she cried, feeling as if her life was draining out of her.

And then, it happened… he pushed the detonator and his body flew, limply in the air, like a rag doll. She didn't stop to think of her actions, she just flew towards him at light speed. Her mind repeating like a mantra that she needed to protect him. And when she got close enough to him, she got a glimpse of his near unconscious gaze… and the resignation that bordered in happiness, disgruntled her. No one should find comfort on loosing ones life… What kind of life he must have led in order to feel relief instead of grief at a moment like this?

So, she protected him as best as she could. Stopped what looked to be inevitable. And bridged a bond between them that even she couldn't understand…

She became his angel, even when he thought of her as only a hallucination.

The whole experience shook Usagi to the core… what was going on? Why was she able to see this young man in her fantasies? A man she thought was just an illusion. And why did she come to him in this particular moment?

She learned that his name - or the one he took as his own - was Heero Yuy and that he was a soldier in the midst of a terrible was. That he was just fifteen years old and that he was considered a "perfect soldier".

She looked over him while he regained his strength and heard the distant echoes of his memories whenever he slept. She learned that he was a good young man who, sadly, was forced to live his live like a heartless dummy. That he had dreams deep inside the recesses of his mind, and that he wished for a world of peace.

He was safe where she left him, she could sense that. And she knew that she needed to go and leave him, that this was not her place or her time. But she couldn't stop worrying. His dreams didn't stop mingling with hers and his visits every night, never stopped. Even when The Fates found out.

They demanded an answer. How she could do something like that? Messing with the fine balance of destiny! With the delicate pattern of the universe and existence!

What she did, even if she didn't know it at the moment, was atrocious. Not only did she change the destiny of one man and his universe, but also the lives of those near him. That's why the soldier without a name nearly died - that wasn't supposed to happen.

And when Usagi found out, she was horrified. She knew that, even if she was not aware of it, she really messed things up.

However, that was not the worse of her problems…

Mamoru found out.

That morning, while she ate her breakfast in the garden keeping an eye on Chibi Usa, who was chasing butterflies, Mamoru surprised her sitting in front of her. He didn't say a word; he just looked at her. And she knew he knew without a doubt. It was in the way his mouth had this down turned curve, the way his eyes bore to her soul. For a moment there, she couldn't even look at him; she was so ashamed. Her hand tightened her grip around her cup of tea, trying to control her shaking. And he sighed… as if tired.

'_If you could've just talk to me…'_ he whispered.

She looked at him, feeling as if boiling water was running trough her veins instead of blood. But when her eyes met his… there was emptiness in them… she couldn't see herself in those eyes anymore. She was shocked… the air turned to ice in her throat and her eyes burned.

It started drizzling and Chibi Usa came into the balcony, giggling happily, and when she saw her parents together, she was overjoyed. It has become quite a feast to see them together in the same room. Her papa was always out on business trips, while her mother stayed home, planning many activities. Neither of them has had enough time to spend with her. So she decided she was going to make the best out of this opportunity.

The three of them walked the gardens under a placid drizzle. Chibi Usa in front, while Usagi and Mamoru stayed at the back. The little girl never noticed how tense her parents were. How rigid their bodies were and how they didn't hold hands or embraced, and that would've being the norm for the two of them when they were young. If one of the scouts had been there, they would've noticed it right away.

But Chibi Usa was just too happy knowing that her parents were together. She didn't know a thing. She was too young to know a thing...

Later on, that same day, Chibi Usa went to see if her mommy was in her room. And when she got near the white doors that preceded her chambers, she heard noises…

'_But why him, Usa! Why? Why couldn't you just talk to me?'_

'_Yeah, right. Just like **you** talked to me… or should I say: you talked to Aki, instead of me!'_

'_Usako, I'm so sorry. I was so confused…'_

'_She's not your wife. **I am your wife and you couldn't even talk to me**…_' right then, her voice broke, '_you couldn't even tell me that…that you don't love me anymore…'_

'_No, Usagi! Don't say that! That's not true! I love you! I love you with all my heart!'_

'_Then, why, Mamoru? Why!'_

Silence was the only answer Chibi Usa heard.

Her little mind started to worry. What was going on? What would happen?

'_Usagi…_' and here, Mamoru exhaled, as if he was deflating, '_I've been thinking… Maybe… maybe we should separate…'_

'_What!'_

'_Just for a while, Usa! Just while I think things through…'_

'_You want to get a divorce?'_ Usagi's voice was so small; Chibi Usa had a lot of difficulty understanding.

But the word 'divorce' stayed with her. It sounded like something terrible… especially since her mother sounded as if someone was stabbing at her heart when she uttered it.

Chibi Usa ran all the way to the big library inside the castle. She got there huffing and puffing, and Ami reprimanded her.

'_That's not the way a lady should move around her castle! You should be more like your mother, Small Lady.'_ By now, she was more than used to hear people saying things like that to her, but for some reason, this time, those words only made her uncomfortable…

'…_you don't love me anymore…'_

Chibi Usa shook her head, trying to clear it and do what she needed to do. She apologized urgently while she moved around the library, looking for a dictionary. Ami tried to stop her, to ask her to be careful, but in the end, she just told her that if she needed any help, she could just ask her. But Chibi Usa was on a mission, and she didn't need any help.

While she was in the library, Usagi cried bitterly, sprawled on the floor of her chambers in a heap of tears and old photos of herself and Mamoru. Her head was lying heavily on Rei's lap while Makoto and Mina were trying to find out what was going on. Rei had a feeling it had something to do with Mamoru, but she kept quiet, while she ran her fingers through Usagi's long tresses.

'_He's leaving me… He's leaving…'_

Ami jumped in her seat, when she heard something heavy collide with the floor, then the shrieking sound of a vase being crushed. She nearly ran to where she thought she heard the sounds coming from, and found Chibi Usa, wide eyed and pale. One vase, a very valuable one, the one that Usagi received as a present from the Queen of England, laid in pieces in the floor, and not so far away, a book lay open, with a page torn and water seeping trough the remaining pages.

'_What have we been telling you, Usagi?'_ Ami said in a stern voice, '_You can't go running around the castle! You are the Princess! You should act more like your mother! She's a real lady!'_

Chibi Usa didn't say a word. She just looked at Ami as if she was seeing her for the first time, with her eyes wide, brimming with tears and a scared expression on her face. When Ami noticed this, she felt bad for acting so sternly, but she was appalled. Not only did Chibi Usa break a very valuable vase, but also she damaged a book in the process. And if there is something she's very protective of is her books and computers, everything that had anything to do with knowledge. To see someone treating those things without respect always annoys her.

Ami kneeled in front of Chibi Usa, trying to say she was sorry, but the little girl just sobbed and left the library, running and crying.

What happened next was just destiny putting the pieces together and setting in motion what was to happen no matter what. It became so mechanical, that neither noticed the woman in shinning garments who left coins on her path, nor did they saw the moment the roulette started turning and the memories were frozen in their minds… Lady Luck paid them a visit and nobody knew… and nobody would've believed it.

Usagi was not in her right mind when the Black Moon attacked the castle. Later on, the rest of the scouts found out she didn't care for herself… she went and face the enemy with the sole purpose of losing her own life. They found the note near her weakening body, which lasted long enough for them to take inside the main hallway. It seemed she was already giving the matter some thought and luck just presented her with the best excuse. She didn't fight to keep the dark magic cursing her veins at bay. She just let herself be consumed by it.

And right when the scoutswere trying to figure out what to do, three figures interrupted…

Klotho… Lakhesis… Atropos… The Fates… and they demanded an answer…

'_She has been interfering with the natural flow of destiny…' _Klotho, the eldest of the three, told them.

'_And now that she has succumbed to her own fortune, the life in the other world she has been visiting is in danger'_ Lakhesis said.

'_We demand that you right this wrong immediately!' _Atropos roared.

'_But, what happened…?' _Makoto asked, '_And how are we supposed to help?'_

The three magnificent spinners of myth looked directly at Makoto, and the young woman felt her knees shaking. Somehow, the intense eyes of these women didn't bore well with her…

* * *

That's it for this chapter! I am very sorry that I didn't update earlier, but a few things happened... one of them being Hana Yori Dango live action : blushes : I should've seen that one coming! 

I hope I didn't make Usagi and Mamoru too occ. I respect their characters and relationship a lot, and I know it would take a little bit more than that to pull them apart. I also hope that I manage to give you a convincing portrayal of their marital problems. If you need help with the words excerpt of the song, just let me know. Expect the next chapter soon!


	3. Chapter 3

I am so sorry for the long wait! This chapter has been sitting idly in my laptop for nearly a month and I didn't updated until now. For one thing, I couldn't work on it because I was sick (damn allergies!) and - sadly - I must admit that I was lazy, since I had to reread all of this chapter and edit it myself as best as I can. So if you see major boo boo's or offenses to the English language, please let me know! At least, I hope this chapter compensates for the long wait.

Disclaimer: Standards disclaimers apply.

Hope you like it!

* * *

Seeking Endymion

Chapter Two

It happened again…

And once they found out, their first reaction was to either scream or swear. For a few hours, just before sunrise, there was a major uproar in the crystal castle. However, they did all in their power to hide it from the people of Crystal Tokyo once the sun started to shine in the horizon.

The atmosphere in the castle was heavy, dense like a fog that clouded their senses. The senshi felt dull; as if they were running in slow motion, still incredulous with the way things were developing. Everything seemed so unreal… so unnervingly unreal and frustrating. It was just so difficult to believe this kind of thing was happening to them again. Still, they needed to keep appearances; they couldn't afford the gossip to leak out. And they did all they could to keep everything quiet.

Sadly, no matter what they did, it was nearly impossible to ignore the way most of the guards were acting: strange, tense and hurriedly walking up and down the halls of the castle. They were told to act as if nothing was going on, but it was starting to be a little difficult with all the things they were trying to do at the same time.

For one thing, they were following the hysterical orders of a barking Haruka, while trying to help Rei prepare the ceremony she was to perform in hopes of finding some answers. Others where assisting poor Ami, who has been working overtime, in a frantic search for vitals and searching for any answer through her technology.

Mina did all she could to keep her cool, but her nerves were pulled too thin. Sometimes she would notice her hands shaking and she would find herself fighting the sudden desire to scream. Somehow she managed to look collected (especially in front of the confused guards of the castle, who were under her charge), but her frustration was becoming more and more hard to suppress.

Michiru kept trying to calm Haruka, but it seemed as if it was the most difficult task in the whole wide universe. Haruka was working on overdrive, trying to deny just how worried she was, and she was in such a state that to try to talk to her was nearly impossible. The tension in the air affected even the ever-collected Hotaru, who, moved by all the chaos in the castle, was doing all in her hands to assist the rest of the senshi.

Things were getting more difficult by he second and the people of Crystal Tokyo were starting to whisper, worried because neither their King nor Queen has come out to greet the new day, as it is their custom. The senshi needed to do something, and fast. So they started to come up with excuses in order to create a convincing story to tell the people of Crystal Tokyo.

Rei was frantic, shooting out orders here and there and looking like a veritable dragon about to flame the castle down. She kept on mumbling and growling all the way down the hall to the chamber the Queen prepared just for her once the castle was finished; the place the scouts designated as their meeting place today.

"I can't believe this!" you could hear Rei say, while she walked down the hall towards her meeting with the rest of the scouts. People did all they could to avoid her path, she was like a walking being made out of lava and you never mess up with the legendary Priestess of Mars when she was like this. "How could she! ARGH!" she growled.

They were all looking for answers, but their time was running out. Each second spent without **doing **something to right this situation, was a second they had against them. Their Queen was slipping more and more out of their reach, and it felt as if they were just looking, without an answer and with their hands tied, unable to do anything. But they were not about to loose their hope! They just **cannot give up**!

Once the fiery princess entered the chamber, the meeting began.

"Did she leave a note?" asked Ami, hopeful, but looking exhausted while she sat at a far corner of the chamber. "She did last time."

"No," Mina sighed, completely drained and tensed, but unable to sit still. "The guards looked everywhere. There is nothing."

"OH!" Rei grunted, shaking her hands in the air and surrendering to her desire to scream, her face as red as her priestess outfit. "How are we supposed to protect her if she keeps on doing this? ...That stupid Dumpling Head! I can't stand it!"

Ami sighed and place a hand on Rei's shoulder, "Please, calm down. We need to be calm to in order to be of some use."

"Calm down? Calm down!" she shrugged Ami's hand away from her. "You're asking me to calm down? Ha! As if it was the easiest thing to do!"

"Rei, please," Mina admonished, "the least we need now is another senshi down."

Rei bit her tongue, but her eyes were fiery. She crossed her arms and with a flourish moved a little ways away from the rest of her friends. She was so tense, she just could not stand all the tension that radiated off them and she was so desperately tired, she knew she would start crying any moment now.

'_It is so unfair!_ _How could she **do** this to us?' thought Rei._

And it really was unfair.

Ever since the people from the Earth started to populate Mars, her energy levels have become a mess. It was becoming more and more necessary for her to meditate, and, sadly, more and more difficult to concentrate.

Sometimes, when she was back at her home planet, she could spend **days **in her temple, just trying to concentrate in order to clear her mind. It is just too many worries and too much work for her, the sole ruler of Planet Mars, that she doesn't have as much time as she would've like to find the answers to her questions: why is it so draining and difficult to spend time in her home planet and why her patience is running so thin.

And, to make matters worst, Usagi's problems just keep coming and coming… like that stupid bunny. And Rei just cannot stand this any longer! She just can't keep on doing this! And, don't get her wrong, she loves her best friend dearly. But this is just too much. She can't go on trying to protect her friend and give her comfort, while her personal life is about to explode.

Everything that happens to her friends hurts her like a hot knife stabbing at her heart. She suffers for them just as much as she suffers her own problems. She can't see them all crumbling down. It makes her remember the past… and just how many times they failed before. And the anger, don't forget the anger! All of that pent up frustration just makes her want to find Mamoru and wring his throat…

The doors of the chamber were open, and in came Setsuna with a somber expression marring her features. Rei's nerves were on edge just as soon as she saw the Senshi of Time. Ami jumped right up and went to the older woman's side, while Mina waited holding her breath.

"Did you find anything, Setsuna?" Ami asked, hopeful.

The Guardian of Time nodded, but there was just this look of foreboding in her eyes that didn't set well with any of them. Rei noticed for the first time how tired Setsuna looked and she knew then that, whatever Setsuna was about to say, were not good news.

"I did found her," she said, "but it's going to be difficult to get to her."

The other three senshi in the chamber turned pale.

"Is she in any danger?" whispered Mina, barely able to utter a word.

Setsuna shook her head solemnly. "She's fine. But too far away from us to reach her without any aid."

"What do you mean?" asked Ami, frowning and worried out of her mind. This just can't be happening to them again. This was just too much…

"She's at a far away dimension; too far away even for me to send you using just my key."

Her words felt like a bucket of icy cold water thrown at them.

Rei just turned her back at them, a tear escaping her eye, while she stubbornly fixed her eyes at the garden outside the window she was facing. Mina, with wide, incredulous eyes just let herself fall heavily against a fainting couch near her, her hands shaking. And Ami shook her head, biting her lip.

"How far?" Ami asked, unable to give up hope.

"Far enough to be considered another world," Setsuna said.

"What!" asked Rei turning to look directly at Setsuna, "What do you mean with 'another world'?" she looked fixedly at the Guardian of Time; nearly challenging her.

"What I meant to say is that our Queen just left our own universe, and now is stuck in another one… In this universe, there's a possibility that neither Princess Serenity nor her Sailor Senshi ever existed. And if we do, we do so probably as a children's fairy tale or someone's fantasy. We will be more than lucky if we exist there as normal human beings, without any sailor powers."

"And how are we supposed to get to the Queen if she's so far away?" Mina asked.

"There is a chance," Setsuna said, "but it will require the help of all the inner senshi and a cosmic egg."

"A what!" Mina's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets, "An egg? What are we supposed to do with an egg? A magical tortilla?"

"A **cosmic egg**," Rei explained, "is a term used to refer to a vehicle, a mystical one, or a charm which could aid us to move to different universes and realities." She paused for a second and frowned, looking at Setsuna, "But I thought that was just a theory."

Ami, who seemed to be deep in thought while she listened to Rei's explanation, talked with a far away look in her eyes, while she sat down and took out her mini computer, "It's not a theory," she said while typing away like a maniac, "if you keep in mind that we have been doing this for a long time."

"Doing what?" Mina asked.

Reid's eyes opened wide and a small smile of triumph graced her lips, "Moving between dimensions, that's what!"

Setsuna nodded, smiling, too.

Mina stood from the fainting couch, a little unnerved. "Yeah, we can move from one dimension to another, but that's completely different to what Setsuna said. We need to get to another world altogether… _and in an egg_, nonetheless!"

"Not an egg, you idiot!" Rei exploded, while reaching inside one of her pant's pockets. "Something like this!" she exclaimed, showing Mina her Sailor Mar's transformation pen.

Mina seemed putout for a moment, when - suddenly - it dawned on her. She reached inside her robes and took her pen out, too. "This?" she wondered, "Is this powerful enough?"

Ami sighed, dejectedly, "I'm afraid it is not," she said.

Rei and Mina's shoulders fell in defeat. But Setsuna kept smiling, with a little spark in her eyes. "But I guess I know where we can find something powerful enough to help…"

The other three looked at her and frowned, "What do you mean?" Rei asked.

Setsuna turned her back and made for the door, "Follow me," she said.

The three inner senshi followed the older woman in a series of twists and turns inside the castle. The servants would look at them, with this expression of hope in their faces that would tell them that the secret was not so much of a secret anymore. And it wasn't so surprising, given the history of the royal rulers of Crystal Tokyo. This was not the first time something like this has happened. In fact, this seems to have become a new way of showing their love for one another. A habit that is getting on everyone's nerves…

They noticed that the sun was high up in the sky, a sign of just how much time they have wasted trying to find an answer. Soon, the ruler of Jupiter will come, and they would have to give her, at least, an excuse for the King and Queen's disappearance.

Fortunately, they stopped in front of a familiar set of white doors - the Queen's chamber. And, for a second, the three inner senshi frowned, wondering what could be in there that could assist them in finding their Queen. Unless it was…

"Setsuna," Ami said in a tremulous voice, "you don't mean to say that Usagi left her…"

"No, she took if with her," Setsuna said, turning to look at the three young women behind her.

"Then, what's in there that could possible aid us in our search?" Ami asked.

"You will see," Setsuna said in that usual mysterious voice of hers.

Setsuna opened the double doors, and in the chamber, they could see a faint silvery light coming from what they knew was the bathroom. When they all entered the chamber, a sudden chill ran up and down their spine.

"It's still active," Setsuna murmured, more to herself than for the benefit of the other scouts.

Mina's eyes took in the sudden air of loneliness the chamber seemed to keep as if it was part of the décor. The doors to the balcony were wide open, and the whispery white curtains seemed to lick the floor as if it was full of wounds made out of darkness and despair. The bed was unmade; the linens twisted and turned over the mattress. And a sudden thought hit Mina right then… why, after Chibi Usa was born, Mamoru and Usagi stopped sharing their rooms? She never understood why. Maybe that was the reason why Mamoru left in the first place… and why he asked for a divorce this time…

Ami refused to look about her. Her mind fixed in finding a solution, and fast. Makoto was about to come to the Moon, and if she finds out Usagi is missing… and that they kept this from her… Oh, it was just too dangerous and too complicated! Now they will need the aid of all the inner senshi to bring Usagi back, and how…

'_Oh!_' Ami thought, paling. '_The aid of **all** the inner senshi…"_

She just hoped she was wrong, "Setsuna, when you said '_all the senshi_' you meant **all **the senshi?" she asked.

Setsuna didn't answer, she just moved inside the chamber towards the bathroom, Rei closely behind, too enthralled in her own thoughts to notice her comrade's question.

"Because," Ami continued with a hesitant voice, "you know there is a little problem with Mako-chan, and we won't be able…"

"It would have to be her, Ami," Setsuna said, "She and the cosmic egg are our only hope to get to the Queen. No one else could do it."

Rei stopped dead in her tracks, "What do you mean? The Fates forbade Makoto to use her powers; she won't be of any assistance with this…"

"We would have to go against Fates' orders, girls," Setsuna said, "She's the only one who has ever step foot in that world."

And in the minds of the three senshi, it was like a record scratching…

"Oh, gods!" Mina blanched, "Not there!"

"You mean that Usagi's at…?" Ami tried to said, but the words were stuck inside her throat.

Inside the bathroom, there was this beautiful fountain full of clear, crystal waters that shimmered as if made out of liquid silver. Little sparks flew out of the rim, remnants of a powerful surge of power. At the foot of the fountain, Mina saw the Queen's jeweled slippers.

"She was here, guys," she said with baited breath, "This must have been the last place she was before she disappeared."

"I knew I should've come here as soon as I got my vision! Damn it!" Rei yowled.

"Now is too late to remedy that, Rei," Setsuna said, stepping to the fountain, "We have to focus on what we have to do now."

"Who would've given something this dangerous to her?" Ami wondered aloud. "Do you think it was a new enemy?"

Now it was Setsuna's turn to look mournful. Her delicate hands gripped the rim of the fountain, grimacing as if in pain. "It was me," she said, mortified.

"You!" the three young women chorused.

"Why would you give her something like this?" Rei claimed, pointing at the fountain with her eyes turning a fiery red.

"It was just a way to make her feel better, after she… attempted... "

'_Sleeping Attempt'_ was the way they referred to the Queen's suicide attempt, that one time when the only thing they could come up with was to encased her in crystal, if anything but to prevent their past selves to find out the reality of Usagi and Mamoru's marital problems, and especially to keep it from Chibi Usa's ears. The one time when they were this close to fuckup their own present. The unfortunate time when Makoto got involved, trying to help out of the goodness of her heart, and instead ended up stuck in this rut of a sentence to be unable to use her sailor powers and just be the Princess of Jupiter.

Oh, it's just one of the reasons why the Queen and King's problems were just so unfair…

"Why?" Mina asked, stepping near the fountain.

Setsuna raised one hand and moved it fluidly over the crystal waters. The fountain shimmered and the waters started to turn clockwise, turning darker and darker until it resembled a mirror. Ami and Rei got near Setsuna and Mina, gasping when they saw an image… a young man with short, dark chocolate hair in disarray who was sitting in what looked like a doctor's waiting room. His eyes were a dark blue and seemed to be dull, tired while he tried to look nonchalant, but he couldn't keep his hands still and he kept on looking at his watch.

"Who's that?" Ami asked.

Her only answer was Mina's gasp, "The shadow man…," she whispered.

"The what?" Rei asked.

"The man Usagi used to talk to. The one we thought was just a figment of her imagination," Mina explained.

"**That guy**!" Rei said, "It was just her imagination!"

"No, he wasn't," Ami whispered while looking at the young man, "He does exist. Look at him! It's just that he exists in another universe!"

Mina gasped, "And Usagi went to him when she found out Mamoru wanted to end their marriage?"

"But, why would she do something like that! Doesn't she think her things through?" Rei growled.

"_Those _are not the questions we should be asking now, guys. We should be trying to find out why in that particular universe. And what does Makoto have to do with it?" Ami asked, turning to look at Setsuna. "Is that the place where she was sent after Usagi woke up from her suicide attempt?"

Everyone in the room flinched when they heard her utter the terrible word of 'suicide', but they knew it was necessary to face this situation head on, since it looks like its ramifications were getting to them now.

Setsuna nodded.

"And how come she was able to go all the way there, while we now need a mystical vegetable to do so?" Mina asked.

"A cosmic egg, you airhead! And an egg is not a vegetable!" Rei nearly conked her friend.

"I knew it was something that should be eaten and not used as a **vehicle**, Ami Part Deux!" she retorted.

"You don't know a thing about…!" Rei snapped, before Ami interceded with a stern voice.

"Now it's not the time for this, you guys! We have to find out how to use this thing."

Mina pursed her lips and moved to the door of the bathroom. "And what are we supposed to do with Makoto? Tell her everything?"

"No, we can't do that!" Ami cried, looking at the faces of her friends. "You know we can't tell her anything! It could kill her!"

"What else are we supposed to do then, lie to her?" Rei asked.

"We shouldn't tell her," Ami whispered, her head hung, and very sad while she remembered the desperation her friend suffered through those dark days. "You know all too well what the truth could do to her…"

Mina and Rei looked deflated. Setsuna turned her back on them this time, trying to keep away the images that sprung to her mind right then. Images of a heartbroken, desolate Makoto and a guilt ridden Usagi.

"But we can't ask her to help us without telling her, at least, some of it," Mina said. "She would want to know why we're asking her to help us when she knows she doesn't have any powers."

"She's not powerless," Rei said, "She can still do things."

"She was forbidden to use her powers as a guardian, but she's still capable of using the talents she inherited and developed as the Princess of Jupiter," Setsuna said, turning to look at them. "And as I said before, we will have to bend the rules this time. Even if she doesn't remember any of it, she's still a sailor senshi."

"So what should we do? What do you suggest?" Mina asked.

"Simple. We tell her enough of the truth… and once we go to AC 200, we would do everything we can to keep her away from her past."

The three inner senshi in the bathroom knew that it sounded very easy, but they knew things hardly were as easy as they sounded. Their Queen's obsession nearly disrupted the flow of one universe's destiny, and they were obliged to right their intrusion as best as they could. Back then, their Queen was unconscious and the only one who dared to go to an uncharted territory was Makoto. Now it seemed they would have to get there, and probably chance another major disruption in time, just to bring back their Queen, and - in the process - risk putting her friend and teammate in danger once more.

Ami looked at the image in the fountain. The young man was now seating in front of an older man, with salt and pepper hair and glasses. The older man was talking while '_the shadow man'_ listened attentively, his expression turning graver by the second. It seemed he was hearing some bad news, because - just for a second - he seemed to shake in his seat as if he just received a shot of electricity. His eyes became duller, if that was even possible. In addition, he had this air of utter resignation that touched Ami's heart. Somehow, in the way "_the shadow man' _hung his head reminded her of Mamoru and just how exhausted he looked as of late.

She could still remember the moment she told him the news, "_Some type of cancer?" Mamoru asked her. "Which kind?"_

"_I wouldn't know for sure until we run some additional tests," Ami said, somber but still a professional. As the head of the medical department of the kingdom, everybody expected from her to be an example of perfect professionalism and dedication - even if the news were killing her just as much as they were killing her King. "It would take a little while, but we could come up with an appropriate treatment for it. We could ask Rei and Mako's help and…"_

"_No," he said, "No one has to know about this. I don't want to bother anyone…"_

"_Don't say that! We would gladly help you…"_

"_I said I don't want anyone to know about this!" he growled stubbornly and stood, leaving Ami's office in a huff._

Ami felt so ashamed for keeping this from the rest of the senshi, but as a doctor, she was bound to her responsibilities to keep her ethical standards and keep her patients' cases private.

Just looking at the young man in the mirror made her remember just how torn Mamoru looked, and it seemed this young man looked as torn as her King did when she told him the bad news. Just then, Ami knew without a doubt that this young man has a fatal sentence hanging above his head; just like their King. And this knowledge just made matters worse.

If their Queen ran away, trying to find happiness with a man whose days were numbered just as their King's days were numbered, the futility of all her attempts will certainly kill her and their dreams of a prolific Crystal Tokyo.

That is if their little daring game of putting Mako so near her painful past does not do so first.

* * *

Far away, in a place were magic and mystic was just a part of a children's fairy tale, a young man walked down a pristine hospital hallway. He walked like an automaton, not noticing the people around him or where he was going, too shocked with the news. 

"_Last time we talked, I told you we found high levels of gundanium in your blood stream. It must have been during your years as a pilot."_

"_So, what are you saying? Does it mean that I'm ill?" Heero Yuy asked in a voice that hardly let out the fact that he was petrified._

_Doctor Marcus Wong sighed dejectedly and nodded, "Cancer, Mr. Yuy."_

It all came to him too fast and too strong to bear. All of a sudden, he felt faint and disoriented. His knees gave way and he had to hold tight to the nearest wall.

"I got you, don't worry," a voice so sweet and kind whispered near his ear while warm arms encircled his shoulders.

"Oh, Serena, you found me…" he said weakly. "What I'm going to do now?"

"Sh… don't worry. I am here now as I promised, and I will not leave you… Ever…"

* * *

Special thanks to _**the Desert Fox**_, _**Angelic-Flame-05**_, _**arbiter-cosmos**_ and _**hideously insane**_ for your kind reviews, and for the rest of the people who has been reading the fic, thank you for your interest. Hope this chapter didn't dissapointed any of you. 


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